Smith Angels - AVA: May 2005

it is me!

I was blessed on the day we left LA, by the pastor of my birth family's church. My parents were so proud of me!

my first pediatrician visit. I did NOT like it, but I did so well! I am in the top 25% percentile for preemie's of my gestational age! I gained almost a whole pound since I was discharged (in 9 days), at the pediatrician's office I was 5 pounds 12 ounces!

I only got to spend about 2-3 minutes in the sun because my skin is still sensitive, but I really enjoyed it. Next year I'll get to go to the beach, I'll be a big girl...

my nana patrice holding me on the day I moved to PA, she and my birth mommy Jenelle miss me DEARLY!

this is me on the ride from LA to PA in my preemie car seat. I was an ANGEL on the ride home, I really enjoyed the hum of the car...

I am doing SO much napping with daddy and Jessie. daddy's chest is the PERFECT shape for my little noggin!

this is mommy's favorite picture of daddy with me... we are at Jenelle's workplace on the day we left LA

thank you Corrie for the cute preemie bikini, look how cute I look in it :)

with my aunti Sassi (Susanne) in Richmond...

I'm on my way to a special blessing at nana Patrice's church this morning...

My daddy is here! Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My DADDY is coming today, yea! And the chances are looking very good (say, about 80%) that we will be cleared to leave LA tomorrow, woohoo! I am very excited about my new life in PA, and mommy is so so so happy to be coming home, 2 months is too long to be away from home! We are so delighted with our time in LA, though, the birth family was SO sweet and loving to us, and the NICU was brilliant in nursing me to health. The Lord deserves all our thanks!!!! :)

This is my birth nana loving me up! :)

I do a lot of napping these days! I wake up like clockwork every 3 hours at night, and every 2 hours during the day. Mommy thinks I am a very, very good girl for making such a nice schedule for mommy :) My best napping is on my mommy's chest of course!

I am 8 weeks and 1 day old now. I am getting very big, mommy will take me back to the NICU in a day or two to get me weighed, she bets I am well over 5 pounds now, because her arms get tired after a while. I am still getting bottles *and* breast feeding - doing both, I am quite talented. I have had 2 outings to my birth family's house now; I feel SO comfy there I just sleep and sleep...

This is Oliviah talking nice big sister stuff to me! She is going to make a wonderful big sis! She is 2 1/2 years old :)

Other uses for hotel washcloths: baby blanket!

Hi everyone, thank you so much for all the well wishes! Mommy and I are doing GREAT! I had another very good night... I woke mommy like clockwork every 3 hours for a change, milk, and a hug and kiss. Mommy was a little worried about how the night would go, because much of the previous day I had been eating every 1.5 hours or so, but it was a breeze after all, I kept to a really good 3-hour schedule all by myself. During the day I am a bit more demanding, and I fidget a lot unless mommy is holding me. Overall, mommy thinks I am a little angel :)

Mommy and I are enjoying our babymoon... lots of napping together, reading, and watching TV. Here is a picture of me in my mommy's bed in my Snuggle Nest co-sleeper, I *love* it because mommy can just roll over to love me up. Mommy says I am a very sweet girl - I did not cry even once last night, though I did do a lot of preemie grunting :)

Mommy Jenelle is so proud of me!

This is me the day before discharge, when mommy and I "roomed in" together in the bonding room at the hospital. Mommy got no sleep but she has SO been looking forward to that! :)

Hi everyone sorry I have not been able to update much in the last 2 days... my mommy was away from the 'puter! The last two days have been a blur for me and my mommy, and very exciting and a little exhausting. Most excitedly, I was discharged to mommy Jenelle this morning, and then mommy Jenelle gave Barbie and Tad their blessing to become my parents! It was exciting, but I was in my new car seat and nana and mommy were rocking me and I slept through the whole thing. It was an emotional 2 days for everyone. Mommy did 2 interviews with local TV stations, and one with the local paper and she did so well, so did mommy Jenelle, she helped out a little. Next Tuesday another TV interview will air that features adoptive breastfeeding; I am so proud of my mommy, she volunteered to be in front of the camera while breastfeeding me with the Lact-Aid, it was not as hard as mommy thought it would be at all, they did a very wonderful job with it! Now mommy and me are sequestered at the Residence Inn, and guess what, they upgraded us to a penthouse suite! Our story is really touching a lot of people here in Shreveport... Now we just await word from both Baton Rouge and Harrisburg that we are allowed to travel across both state lines, and then daddy will fly down here and we'll be coming home. Oh, how my mommy longs to be home... with her hubby, back in her church, in her neighborhood, with her family, and with her pets. Tomorrow I'll have mommy take some pictures of my new adventure with her, and you will see just how much mommy and me are enjoying our "babymoon" together :)

I passed phase I of the car seat test with flying colors - and I did it twice as long as usual, just to make *sure* I could handle the drive home with mommy and daddy. I am doing phase II right now and mommy took a picture, but her camera is acting up again, so we cannot show you what it looks like. It is my preemie car bed, where I can lie down in it, to make my breathing a little easier and to provide for some "variety" in my positioning. I hit another milestone this evening: my naso-gastric tube was taken out! Now I have no more tape on my face, and no tube going into my nose, and I am "on my own" for feedings. Mama is SO loving looking into my face, she can see my whole face for the first time! The next few days will be quite a hubbub around me, I can tell by how excited my mama is :)

I had to do a 2-hour car seat test today, this is phase 1.... we are making sure that I can keep my vitals up for 2-hour segments in the car seat. As of 1 hour into it, I was still going strong...

Oh my goodness, we have such great news! I will be discharged on Wednesday! Can you believe it? Mommy cannot wipe the grin off her face, you should see her... Now, we still will not be home for about 10-12 days, because once I am out of the hospital and settled into the Residence Inn with mommy, we have to wait for some legal paperwork to get taken care of before I am allowed to cross state lines, which will take about a week. No problem, mommy and I will get to know each other real well, and then daddy will join us early in the week to drive us back home (with a few stops in Virginia, to visit with aunts and uncles and Omi). Mommy will be "rooming in" with me tomorrow (Tuesday) night at the hospital, and then I will be discharged under mommy Jenelle's care on Wednesday afternoon. It is going to be very bittersweet saying goodbye to mommy Jenelle, but she will be such a big part of my life that I think of it less as a "bye" than a 'thank you for what you are doing for me, I love you, and will always love you and look forward to starting our new relationship now!". Mommy says that mommy Jenelle gave me the biggest gift that anyone can give another person, and we will always have doors wide open for her, and love her deeply. She will always be treasured by us as a true gift from God.

C'est moi!

I am 7 weeks and 2 days old today. It looks like I am having a very good day, and that I might be back on track! I've been feeding great today, I've been maintaining my temperature, and I haven't had any spells... downright boring, which is just fine by mama. The York Daily Record is contemplating sending a reporter/editor down here to do a feature story... all mommies are delighted by this, because they want to get the word about so many things: open adoption (and how fabulous it can be!), adoptive breastfeeding, kangarooing intensive care babies, using the internet to facilitate private adoptions (bypassing agencies altogether), inter-racial adoption issues (I don't think we have any?), and stay-at-home-mom-ism, for starters. It will be neat if they can make it down here in time... :) Oh, I almost forgot, I gained another ounces, and am a hefty 4 pounds 11 oz today.

Mama stop taking my picture and feed me already!

Uh oh, I had a spell today. Mommy and me don't know what that means, I hadn't had one in almost a week and a half. I also had a harder time with feeding today... the two teensy tiny setbacks probably go hand in hand. I'm still working hard at leaving here soon, though! :)

Mommy and I have been walking together after my feeds - mommy made my leads very long and we can walk a dozen feet in either direction of my cubby now. Mommy fastens her sweatshirt around me (so we are truly kangarooing) and then we walk. I ADORE it - although I can't see much I look around and look around and am so very peaceful and alert and contented. Mommy thinks she'll be "wearing" me a lot in the future, because I enjoy it so much :) Mommy wishes that she could walk some of the other babies that are here too, they would really enjoy the loving attention and movement too... but not everyone is as lucky as me and has a daddy that lets mommy spend 2 months at the NICU with her darling...

Oh my goodness, you won't believe this: I gained 3 ounces last night - I weigh 4 lbs 10 oz this morning. Mommy and daddy are going to take home a full grown baby girl soon, wow! The Lord is really watching over me, we are all very thankful for that :)

me this morning in my newborn bassinette (they wheeled the isolette out of my cubby for good!)

Mommy at Barksdale Air Force Base this afternoon... Daddy is going to be so *jealous* of what mommy got to see this afternoon!

Mommy saw the Blue Angels today. Although she is not normally an airplane fanatic, she *loved* seeing them - her heart was pounding it was so exciting :)

I am 7 weeks old today! I am on track for getting discharged at the very last part of this coming week or early the following week - I've had no "spells", I'm maintaining my own body temperature wonderfully, I'm gaining weight far more quickly than expected (I am 4 pounds 7 ounces today), and the only thing that I need to work on is my feeding. And mommy is very proud of me today, because I am doing the *best* with my feedings than I have ever done! Mommy thinks I can tell that it is time for us to consider heading home soon :)

I can recognize my preemie pacifier, see me rooting for it? mommy is glad that I like the pacifier so much (it really helps soothe me here) but mommy has no idea how she'll wean me off of it later. if you are wondering what my shirt says, it says "spoiled"! me? no way, ha ha :)

nurses, please forgive my mommy for napping with me... she is just so tired... look how happy we look sleeping together! mommy says we can do this as often as we want to once I am discharged, and with daddy too!!!

Today I am 6 weeks 6 days old, and I gained over 2 ounces last night, so I now weigh a whopping 4 lbs 6 oz... can you believe how big I am getting!?! Mommy is very, very, very excited: maybe, just maybe I can begin thinking about discharge in about 7-10 days... doctor Elrod said no promises, but maybe on the weekend, a week from now. Wow, that is so soon! I'll have been here for 2 months, my whole life so far. :) Since yesterday I have been maintaining my own body temperature... do you remember how I've tried to do that 3 times already? Well, I do believe that this time I can do it! I am doing great so far... I had a "vagal" yesterday while I was trying to do a b.m., but Dr. Elrod is not holding that against me because you grown-ups do that too (!), so according to the chart I am one week without having a bradycardia or apnea "spell" or episode. That leaves only one thing for me to work on: nippling around the clock. I am still not quite there yet, but give me this week, with mommy's patience and my hard work I think I can do it! :)

normally I get a little ornery when mommy or nurse holds my arm down for a temp check, but today I am positively angelic, mommy wanted to share this picture :)

look at how positively chubby my belly has gotten! mommy likes to kiss it!

mommy though you'd like to see a midnight gavage feeding - see the machine in the lower left with the syringe of milk? that is pushing milk into the tiny tube in my nose. I don't feel a thing except that mommy has me kangarooing in her sweatshirt (can you see me there? you might have to click on the photo to enlarge it) and I feel warm and cozy and my tummy is slowly getting full...

I am 6 weeks and 5 days old today. Mommy has been here for 6 weeks now, and she is a little homesick, but Jill's visit really picked her up! I am doing very well today; I still need to keep working hard at nippling around the clock (I'm not there yet!) and at maintaining my own body temperature (not quite there yet either), but otherwise I am doing wonderfully, mommy is extremely proud of me. Mommy wants to say thank you to a bunch of people for their love and support, but she cannot find her "thank you" list (have you *seen* her room at the McDade House? *that* is why she cannot find it! ha ha, scroll down to see a picture of her old room, this one is almost as messy!). So she'll just start by saying thank you to Margie and her friends at Manchester Crossings - thank you for the care packages you've sent before now and for the one you sent with Jill... they always put such a smile on my face! Thank you to my congregation brothers and sisters - the huge package you sent 2 weeks ago... well, I use the prayer shawl everyday it is on Ava's rocking chair in her NICU cubby, and for the continued prayers which God is very obviously listening to!!! And thank you to Jill, Steve, and Annalise (see below why...). It really keeps mommy and me going when we think of all the prayers and support and love we have in this adventure of ours!!! :)

Mommy and me, and my god-sister Annalise and her mommy Jill :)

Patrice, Jenelle, Annalise, and Jill at Joe's Crab Shack

Today I am just over 6 and 1/2 weeks old. This morning I weighed 4 pounds 2.3 ounces and tonight I weigh 4 pounds 3.9 ounces - I am getting downright chubby, mommy is beaming! Mommy gave me the bath tonight, but it didn't help, I still *hate* taking baths! I hope mommy finds a better way of bathing when she gets home, 'cause the method she is learning here is just not going to work :) I forgot to tell you all that yesterday my cafffeine was stopped. This is big news because I have been taking this to prevent apneas (cessation of breathing) and now the docs feel very confident that I am over the "spells" and "episodes" as they call them. Do you know how caffeine leaves your body after a few hours? Well, it takes my preemie/newborn body ten *days* to get rid of the same caffeine you take with your coffee. Thus, this is a sign that maybe, just maybe I will be leaving here in 10 days or 2 weeks or so... they have to make sure that I don't have apneas or bradycardias while I am coming off of the caffeine. I am working so hard toward going home soon, mommy is really encouraging me! Mommy had a great day today... she went with Jill and Annalise and nana Patrice to the Boardwalk on the Red River to the grand opening of Joe's Crab Shack... my birth mommy Jenelle has a great job there, and they got to see her in action, singing "YMCA" and everything! But then mommy had to see Annalise and Jill off to the airport, so a few tears snuck out of her eyes, but she has very good memories of their visit and really enjoyed their company and support :)

I'm in the background waving "hi" to mommy's friend Jill and my god-sister Annalise

My mommy says I look beautiful in pink

this is me wriggling while mommy is trying not to laugh at changing my diaper!

6 and 1/2 weeks today! I had so much activity today, it was such a good day. First, my birth mommy came to visit me and she cupped me and made me feel very cozy and safe. Then Jill and Annalise from Pennsylvania came by... Annalise was *very* interested in me and we got some nice photos with her and I. Then the eye doctor came (I actually did not enjoy that one bit, he had to prop my eyes open, yucky!) and he pronounced that the retinopathy had cleared and that my eyes are wonderfully perfect, woohoo! My feedings were increased to 37 ml/cc's every 3 hours, and I gained *two* ounces yesterday, that is a LOT, I am over 4 pounds now!!! I am working very hard, I would like to go home as soon as possible, I have a lot to catch up on in the neighborhood, at home, with grandma Connie and the rest of my families, and at church :)

Thank you for all the sweet comments and for all the prayers especially. It feels so good to be so loved, and I cannot wait to meet all of you. I'm thinking my mommy will not be able to find me on most Sunday mornings, I'll be in arms :) I am six weeks and 2 days old today. I had another small milestone: I drank my whole meal by myself with no need for gavage (nasal tube) assistance - this is the 3rd time I've done this, but only the first in the morning (when I am more weak). My mummy was beaming, I can tell that I am the biggegst joy in my mama's life already :) I gained 11 grams yesterday, and still weigh 3 lbs 15 oz. Mommy is excited because her close friend Jill and her god-baby Annalise are flying down this evening!!! Annalise and I will probably end up being best friends, we live right across the street from each other...

Oh my goodness, I finished my whole meal by myself again, my mommy is so very proud of me. It was very, very difficult I had to work so very hard, and I was completely spent when I finished, my jaw was just hanging open I was that tired. I am doing so well! :) I had a lot of visitors today for Mother's Day, I loved it! My big sister gave me a kiss and gave me "rooster hugs" through the isolette cover... that was pretty special.

mommy went to Mother's Day dinner at Oxford St. with birthmom Jenelle, big sis Oliviah, nana Patrice, and grandpa David!

napping lazily this afternoon - look at that head of hair! :)

I'm 6 weeks and 1 day old today. I gained another ounce, and am at 3 lb 15 oz. I was only able to feed 5 cc's by myself today, I am still exhausted from the full feed I managed last night. I am still being heated in the isolette, but hopefully will come back out of it today. I have not had any "spells" in 3 days!!! :) Happy Mother's Day to my mommy Barbie, my mommy Jenelle, my nana Patrice, my grandma Connie, my Omi Heidi, and all my relatives!

Oh my goodness, I surprised everyone tonight - I drank 36 cc's within 10 minutes, and for the first time ever I did not need a gavage (nasal tube) feeding! By the time mama came to feed me (she is always early), I was already yelling for her, and boy were my suck-swallow-breathe reflexes working well. One of the things I have to accomplish before I leave here (and likely the most difficult for me) is to "nipple" feed around the clock, and finish all of my meals within 30 minutes. If I keep up the progress I made today I'll have the NICU record for fastest feedings, I'm sure :) You see, I keep telling mama that I'll accomplish *everything* I'm supposed to do, but not on her and the nurse's schedules... rather on my own, more leisurely schedule :) (Note from mama: I am very proud of you sweetie, you are progressing *fabulously* and I am so sorry we pushed you too hard on Thursday).

mummy's camera works again! here is me, this evening :)

Hi everyone, I am 6 weeks old today! I am doing well today. I am still being heated, but only slightly, I might come back out of the isolette this evening or tomorrow morning. I weigh 3 lbs 14 ounces - I gained an ounce! My stool test shows that I am very slightly lactose-intolerant (I think my big sis is, too), but that doesn't change the fact that I am still getting donor breast milk, I'm doing fine on it. My feeding schedule with mommy is still slightly cut back, but tomorrow we might resume our every-3-hours schedule. Mommy is sorry that she cannot get her camera to work, she keeps trying to take pictures of me, but the camera is just not cooperating. Maybe she will find a picture from 3 days ago to post for you all ;)

I am *definitely* doing better this afternoon - whew! I managed to breast feed 10 cc's this afternoon, which is a record for me. Two nurses told me that I was very pretty this afternoon. My mommy moved into a larger room at the McDade House - #9. It is a good day after all!

Today is my 5th week and 6 days! I am doing a little better this morning - it is a new day and I am feeling more like myself. I'll still have to be careful and I am still waiting on my stool exam, but it looks like I likely do not have an infection, or anything else serious... it might just be that I was pushed too hard with all the breast and bottle feeding - those really are very exhausting for someone as little as me! Mommy and the occupational therapist ("occupational", huh?) helped me feed this morning, it took some effort and I was only able to coordinate 4 really proper sucks and swallows. But that is okay, the rest went into my tummy through my nose and my tummy was nice and full and warm and I felt cozy after that. Mommy will be skipping some of the feedings today and handle me a little less than usual, but I can see her and hear her from my isolette and I like that. I gained 8 grams even through all the fuss yesterday, and now weight a record (for me!) 3 lbs 13 oz. My feeds were increased, and a second form of supplement was given to boost my calorie count. :)

Oh dear, I am a little bit under the weather today. Mommy has been checking on me hourly since noon-ish and she has not been able to hold me even once. I am back in an isolette because I was so darn cold, too - it is heated to almost 90 degrees, I am that cold. I don't even care about the cold wet wipes every three hours (which I used to talk back to all the time) because I am just that pooped. I had explosive diarrhea too, and made nurse Tina laugh, because she had to clean the isolette and the floor! So I had some fun today, too, but really I hope my stool sample comes back that everything is normal. Mommy might get to hold me at midnight - we'll see! I'm giving up my bath and my breast feeding just to be able to be held...

I'm eating my shirt this morning :)

Hi again, I am 5 weeks and 5 days old today. I *still* weigh 3 lbs 12 oz! I am using up many of my precious calories just trying to maintain my body temp (even though I am piled high with four blankets) and then the breast feeding and bottle feeding is completely exhausting me. I am so tired that I was not really able to use my swallow reflex this morning - it just wasn't there and I would try to swallow and it just would not work. Mommy and nurses are giving me a short break today and feeding me more through my nose, and mommy is giving me extra kangarooing to keep my body warm, I need to conserve more energy. My mommy is pretty tired, but she visits me and snuggles me more than I ever dreamed she would be able to, I really enjoy that. I know my mommy's smell and sound now, and I get very antsy if she is around and she doesn't hold me (like when she is talking to the nurses or changing my diapers, I really, really hate that!) - she is really spoiling me, but I am so much healthier for it :) I had a lot of spells this morning (again, I'm not having the best day) so it will be a while before I can come home. That's okay, I am really getting stronger and bigger while I'm here...

my FIRST time in a bouncy! look at how it swallows me up :)

I'm pretty "scrunchy" most of the time, mama says...

in my new bassinette...

Hi everyone, I am 5 weeks 4 days old today. My mommy is very proud of me because I drank my first bottle today - I was able to drink about 1/2 ounce, which my nurse said is very much for a first time! My mommy is a little sad too today because she had to make a difficult choice - either I learn to take a bottle and leave the hospital much earlier, or learn to exclusively breast feed on mommy and leave the hospital later. My mommy decided that it would be best for me to be home quickly, where I will receive lots of loving, and sleep with my parents, and get a lot more skin-to-skin contact with mommy and daddy; and so I learned a bottle today. But I have many weeks at home to continue to breast feed, and my pediatrician in York is very much an advocate of adoptive breast feeding, so I will be doing that later, once I am settled in at home. And I am still allowed to "play" at breast feeding with mommy 4 times a day while I am here, so I will not lose the progress I have made so far! Luckily, my birth mommy Jenelle also spoils me and loves me and I do *not* have to take formula in my bottle, but I can have her breast milk that I am just so thriving on, I am a very lucky girl don't you think? I had a few spells over the last 24 hours, but none "officially" that the nurses documented. I lost a little weight because it is soooo hard to maintain my own body temperature, but I am still a strong 3 lbs. 12 oz. My eye exam yesterday went wonderfully - it looks like I either don't have retinopathy of prematurity or else just have the mildest form, and all I need is some follow up later in life. I might have to wear glasses like mommy, but that is okay I will undoubtedly look positively adorable in them! :)